Posted in A to Z Challenge, Blog, Canucklehead, Google, Gratitude, Humour, Jelly Beans, Sarcasm, Tales from the Cabbage Patch, Trying something new, Uncategorized

j is for … jelly beans

Day 25:365 Gratitude Challenge and April 12th A to Z Challenge

jesus_and-jellybeans2Today I am grateful for jelly beans. Jelly beans are fun and magical. Not only do they taste delicious but I cannot help but be happy when I see a bowl of them sitting on my table in all their brilliant coloured splendor. They are just begging to be enjoyed. Eat me! Eat me! You know you want to!

And when I walk into a store full of jelly bean displays, well, l behave like a kid in a candy shop because, guess what? I am in a candy shop! A jelly bean candy shop. Hooray! But they are magical, remember? Jelly beans use their magical powers called taste and colour to lure me in and, once they do, there is no resisting them. Know what I mean, Jelly Bean?

And the flavours! All fifty of them from cherry to blueberry, green apple to juicy pear, cream soda to root beer, tutti fruitti to toasted marshmallow and so many more. How can I possibly resist a jelly bean called strawberry shortcake and then not follow it by a strawberry daiquiri jelly bean chaser? Oh when oh when does the madness end when the combinations are endless?


While writing this, I came to the most unusual epiphany. I think that I not only like jelly beans because they taste so darn good but I think it might also have something to do with the fact that I am a lot like a jelly bean. I know, amazing, right? Epiphanies like this don’t just happen every day, my dear jelly beaners. They may happen to Oprah every day but not to me. So that means that my epiphany is probably bigger than any epiphany Oprah could ever have had just because mine are fewer and far between. But, oh, I digress.

I realized that I am somewhat shaped like a jelly bean, you know, all plump like, which is probably not a visual you need right now but, hey, now that it’s out there, it is going to have stay. In additional to my jelly bean shape, I am also of the same consistency: hard on the exterior and soft in the interior. By that I mean, personality-wise. But I will let you in on a little secret: while I f55b222780bd9afc9adff3a1ce796d94may let on that I am hard on the exterior (how could you not think that based on my previous posts about assholes, dammit doll stress relievers and, twisted inside thoughts for dealing with said assholes?), underneath I am really a soft hearted teddy bearess, not a teddy bear with a bare ass, but a bear-ess. Sort of like a goddess, only different. Hopefully, you know what I mean, Jelly Bean. (Sorry but I can’t help myself.)

Another way I am like a jelly bean is that jelly beans are fun and so am I! Jelly beans make great guessing games ( I bet you are probably guessing about my sanity right now). Put some in a jar and get your friends to guess how many jelly beans are in there. Don’t give your friends any hints just because they are your friends because that would be cheating and cheating is bad. They need to pull up their big ole friend undies and guess on their own. Whoever guesses the correct amount wins the entire jar. Woot! Woot!

Also, jelly beans can be done up all pretty like and given as thank you gifts, just because gifts, wedding favours and so on. I can be done up all pretty like, too, in nice clothes and whatnot, but I don’t think that I should be given away as a gift because that would just be wrong. If it wasn’t wrong, I would at least have to come with a very good return policy because I am fairly certain that I would be returned. You know what I mean, Jelly Bean?

Or, if you ever become an elected official, you can have your very own jars of jelly beans made up with your very own official seal etched in the glass and give them to other heads of ronald reganstate just like Ronald Reagan did when he was President of the United States (#POTUS). I wonder if he ever made Margaret Thatcher guess how many jelly beans were in her jar? Probably not. I don’t think the Iron Lady was into having fun like that.

Speaking of Ronald Reagan, did you know that Mr. Reagan is quoted as saying that “you can tell a lot by a fellow’s character by his way of eating jelly beans”? Apparently, it has to do with something like whether a person picks out jelly beans all of one colour or just grabs a handful. While I do not know what it means about your character either way, I did find a ‘Jelly Bean Personality Test‘ while doing my super secret jelly bean research using, blackjellybeansyou guessed it, The Google.

And guess what? I also found out that I am like Ronald Reagan in that our favourite jelly beans are the licorice ones. Who knew? I can’t wait to tell Sauerkraut all about this when he gets home from work. Do you think he will be excited to know that he shares his humble abode with someone who is all presidential like? All hail the President of the United Jelly Bean States (even though I am a Canucklehead, cue the presidential music playing the in background). I could even have my own #POTUJBS (the ‘j’ would likely have to be silent just to sound okay).

Oh, yes, back to the Jelly Bean Personality Test. It appears that a black jelly bean person is a whole lot of things but the comment that I like the best is that ‘The black jelly bean person smiles a lot, is enthusiastic and always playful. In fact, s/he usually plays around at workshops, meetings, and conferences‘ which explains so much about me. It explains why I have yet to write a serious blog post; I am just too darn busy smiling and playing after eating all those black jelly beans. See what I mean, Jelly Bean?

Gotta run, my dear jelly beaners and get me some more black jelly beans because tomorrow’s post isn’t gonna write itself which, by the way, I don’t even know what it’s going to be about yet. Maybe ‘K’ is for …. kooky?????

Jelly Bean Magic: 1
My Sanity: 0

PS.: Be sure to click on the Jelly Personality Test to find out what your favourite colour says about you and let me know your results.