Recently, a friend of mine asked if I was still trying something new. She was referring to ‘the promise’ I had made Young Cabbage over three years ago.
Me: Yes. Why do you ask?
Friend: Because you never write about the new things you have tried or done.
Me: Of course, I do, Silly Goose. I’ve written about all kinds of things I’ve tried as well as some of the shitastrophies I’ve gotten myself into while trying them.
Silly Goose: Ummm, no, you haven’t. I’ve read your entire blog now and nowhere have you written specifically about any of the new things you have tried.
Me:
Well, I’ll be damned. Silly Goose might just be onto something.
I mulled over my friend’s words for a few days. Eventually, I had an epiphany
or, as some people like to call it, one of Oprah’s epic ‘aha’ moments. (It was either that or a bad case of gas. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference. Either way, the end result is both enlightening and relieving. Usually the epiphanier is inspired to affect change in his/her life or ends up clearing an entire room in one epiphany).
Silly Goose was right. While I knew I was writing about how I was fulfilling my promise to YC, I wasn’t specifically saying that that was what I was writing about. I suppose I was hoping that you were reading between the lines implicitly understanding my intentions which, more or less, translates to you having incredibly powerful mind-reading abilities. And, if any of you can possibly tell me what it is that I am trying to say right now, please, by all means, help me out.
For those of you confused out of your ever-loving mind about what the hell ‘the promise’ is, let me provide a quick recap. In November 2012, Youngest Cabbage 
hooked, lined and sunk me into promising that I would try something new each and every day. It was his solution to helping me from slipping into the mundane (which I was) and to helping me deal with my life in general (which I wasn’t). ‘The promise’ could involve anything from creating a new word such as ‘epiphanier’ (because I was too lazy to look up what the actual word was) to learning how to make an Irish car bomb (the drink, not a real car bomb – that would be wrong), from changing my attitude about having to be all dolled up to go out shopping in case someone might see me versus wearing the most unflattering pair of yoga pants ever out in public because the important thing was my getting out of the house after being housebound for too many days and not what I was wearing, to learning how to articulate myself more effectively such as “Honey Bun, it really hurts my feelings when you tell me that my outfit makes me look like a hobbit” rather than saying “Hey, Jackass, what the hell do you mean this outfit makes me look like a mother-clucking hairy-footed halfling?” I’m sure you get my drift.
The premise, then, for this blog was for me to write about and document all the new things I tried, did, learned, screwed up, mucked up, bedazzled, or swore I would never, ever do again which, as I mentioned before, I assumed you all understood I was indeed doing. That is, until Silly Goose pointed out the error of my ways.
Which now brings me to the point of this entire post because, believe it or not, I do have one. From this day forward, I promise to love, honour, obey (oh, hell, no) include somewhere within each and every post what it was that I learned, did, messed up, loved, hated, blundered, or tried that was new. Riveting, I know.
Here are some examples of how I should have written some of my previous posts to explain what it was that was new for me about that particular topic. When I wrote about
the Christmas stocking purse, I should have explained how this was a brand new tradition I was starting for my family thus making it sound more thoughtful rather than writing about how I pulled a purse out of my ass closet and filled it with stocking stuffers to cover up the fact that I had forgotten to get the stockings out in time for Christmas morning which is what really happened. Or that time I broke the toilet, I should have added how that was the first time I had ever broken a toilet which was new for me (true story) because then it wouldn’t have sounded like I was an old pro at clogging the toilet which I still plead the fifth on. And who can forget the time I forgot my manners and let that horribly stinky ‘aha’ go in poor Sauerkraut’s car? In that post, I should have written about how that was the day I learned that ladies do, indeed, pass gas.
See what you have to look forward to? Thought provoking examples serving to encourage you to step outside your comfort zone and try something new. I am happy to lead this inspiring revolution to affect change in your life and to show you how trying something new doesn’t need to involve spending large amounts money nor does it involve having to leave your home. What it does involve is an open mind, some spirited inspiration, and a willingness to resist slipping into the mundane.
Did I mention that it may also involve making a fool of yourself from time to time?
I’m in. ‘Aha’ if you’re in, too.