w is for … wheels

Today I am grateful that it is finally my turn to be a guest blogger on this damn blog of Mom’s that takes up so much of her damn time (while I may sound bitter, I am not. I just figured that, since it is finally my turn to blog, I would throw around as many damn words as possible just in case it is a long time before I get to blog again. I’m smart like that). It is a good thing that I am the patient kitty cat in this cabbage patch otherwise I would be causing a ruckus like my step brothers, Oreo and Ringo, usually do when they don’t get their turn as quick as they would like. That’s what happens when you are couple of ill-mannered hooligans. You should see them around our food and water dishes. And don’t even get me started on the litter box! Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Since you already know my story and that of my mongrel step brothers, I thought I would focus on the brand new set of wheels that my Mom and I recently got. These new wheels make Mom and me feel like we are not only the luckiest girls on the face of the earth but also the envy of the neighbourhood. These new wheels make us feel like a couple of badasses, a feeling we both like very much. Our new set of wheels make us feel confident and tough and all Xena Warrior Princess-like because “WE ARE WOMAN HEAR US ROAR!!!” I bet you are wishing you had a set of wheels like we have ….

It’s all in your attitude, baby! I know that this is not exactly what you were thinking of when I said Mom and I got a new set of wheels but they are new to us and they are wonderful. Most importantly, they help my Mom say ‘eff’ you to MS because she is going to keep on trucking despite its sick attempt to keep her from being out and about for longer periods of time. So there!

Mom doesn’t always need her rollator walker which is wonderful because there was a time when she did. She uses it for trips to the mall or when she is outside or when she is going to be on her feet for long periods of time. Her walker helps keep her balanced and stable while out and about. It also provides a nice comfy seat for her to rest on when she gets tired. Did you notice the soft mesh bag on the front of the walker? That is where she tucks her purchases so Dad won’t notice them (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

I love Mom’s new walker. It is more comfortable than her last one and is a much smoother ride. Whenever Mom sees me sitting on the seat, she knows that I want to go for a tour around the house and she will push me around. When she is doing the dishes, I will often sit on the seat and help watch her. The biggest problem that Mom and I have is to remember to put the brakes on when stopped. Sometimes I go flying ahead when I jump on and the brakes haven’t been applied. Zoom! Zoom!

Mom has a great attitude about her walker. She says that if it helps conserve her energy while she is out, she is going to use it because it means that she can stay out longer than when she isn’t using it. Mom is all about having fun and this walker helps her do it. A few years back, when she was using her cane, a woman told her that she would never use one because she viewed the cane as a sign of weakness. Mom just scoffed at that remark; she says that using any mobility aid is a sign of strength because it means that you care enough about your personal health and safety to not risk it by tripping or falling when not using any aids. I love my Mom for that because she, too, is smart like me. We know how to keep ourselves safe. Mom says it’s all about acceptance so that you can get on with your life.

The only thing Mom isn’t fussy about her new walker is that it is white. She says that she doesn’t do white very well so she is already talking about pimping her ride. She joked about bedazzling it but I am never sure if she is joking or not. It would be just like her to bling it up, all sparkly like. One year she decorated her older walker for Christmas; it was amazing! She thinks that her new walker would be just splendid if it had a cup, cane and cell phone holder on it. She also told me that if it had some racing stripes on it, it would be the real cat’s ass then. I said, “Moooooooom, I think you mean it would be the real cat’s meow.” That’s my Mom. Always putting her own spin on things.

When she was consulting with her physical therapist prior to purchasing her walker, Mom told her what she wanted to have in a walker. Here is the picture she showed her therapist for the type of walker that she wanted:

Her therapist told her that maybe down the road she could get this one but for now she needed to start with the walker she eventually chose. That therapist must think that my Mom is crazy!

Mom has also said that if the day ever comes when she needs a wheelchair she wants it to look like this:

Can you imagine her wheeling that baby around? Dad just shakes his head at her sometimes but, secretly, I think he is very proud of her and her attitude.

She has also told Dad not to worry about him being five years older than she is because she has it all figured out how they are gonna roll when they are in their senior years:

What do you think? Do you think Mom would actually tow Dad around like this? I hope that I am still around to see it! Ha ha ha.

And remember …

Have a great day y’all!

Drive, baby, drive:  1
Accidents:  0